![]() It is counter-intuitive, but give 'radical honesty' a try. Maybe you grew up in a household that severely punished minor infractions or inconveniences, or maybe you were 'born this way', but you are on the right track recognizing you have a problem. You are attempting to manipulate others' emotions so you don't have to face any consequences, regardless of how trivial and as a result you turn triviality into serious conflict. You are manipulating people passive aggressively. Click here to get your price.So, you need to respect why this is so toxic. Shopping for a new car? Check out the new Globe Drive Build and Price Tool to see the latest discounts, rebates and rates on new cars, trucks and SUVs. It’s a self-service station, not a self-centred station. Don’t waltz in and swan around for 15 minutes. If you plan on going in to buy a coffee and donut, pay at the pump and then go park by the station so another driver can fill up. That goes double at times there is a wait at the pumps. For all they know, your “do you know it actually gets warmer at night in the winter” talk is a preamble to pathological stalking.įinally, Rule 4: This one goes out to everyone – get your gas and move on. Just because you know you’re not a psycho with ill intentions doesn’t mean the person you’re rambling to about some obscure topic does. You’ll know if someone isn’t in the mood for discourse by the pained look on their face the moment they see your gums bumping and tongue wagging. If you must speak with the person at the next pump, keep it in the vein of “nice day, isn’t it?” Weather is good. Use your time at the gas pump the way everyone else does, to contemplate the futility of our modern existence and that it is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, who is poor. It’s your lucky day! Otherwise, just stand mute like a colossus. If you are asked a question – for instance, “How do you use this squeegee?” – then feel free to weigh in. Don’t tell someone, especially a woman, how to use the windshield squeegee. Rule 2: Keep the friendly car advice to yourself. Sadly, if you’re using the self-serve as your personal hook-up spot, you’re also using the grocery store, your place of employment and virtually every other place you go in similar fashion. Just serve yourself some gas and get on with your day. The other drivers are there for the same reason you are – to purchase gasoline. The first rule is straightforward: The self-service pumps are not Tinder, Grindr or any other kind of dating app. That said, perhaps a little instruction on proper etiquette might, at the very least, curb the poor behaviour of those who may be unaware they’re crossing the line and lead them to call out harassment when they see it. It’s deep and complex (two words seldom used in reference to me). I realize this problem can’t be fixed by the glib mansplaining of an overstuffed columnist. ![]() If I don’t park in the perfect spot for reach of the gas hose, they smirk and scoff like I’m an idiot. “Like, they look at me and think, ‘Wow, a girl is pumping gas by herself?!’ They either laugh at me or watch every move I make. “I get stared at and judged by all males there pumping gas,” says Toronto resident Chelsea Larkin. “I’ve been driving for 12 years since I was 15,” she says. On one occasion, she wrote, two men blocked the driver’s side door and she was forced to crawl in through the passenger’s side window in order to lock the car and escape. Ashley Wallace, who grew up in Alabama, only uses gas stations she’s familiar with because of the amount of “cat calling, unwanted physical advances, and intimidation tactics” she has endured. While quite a few had not experienced any harassment at stations and weren’t reluctant to use them, there were also many who had. So, I reached out on Facebook and Twitter asked women to tell me about their self-service gas station experiences. “Can I help you sir?” “Yes, please fill it with regular.” I hadn’t realized that others might dislike them for much more serious reasons. I hate self-serve gas stations, not because I’m wary of what might happen there, but because I don’t like getting out of my car and prefer my communication with strangers to be regimented – e.g. Sometimes it’s just awkward and uncomfortable.” Gas pumps are weird because even though they’re public, you’re somewhat alone and vulnerable … Nearly every time she stops for gas by herself, she is approached by a man. He teased her about being lazy but was later surprised to learn that “The truth is that she’s had too many bad experiences pumping gas, and it makes her anxious. Wrote that when he and his future wife started dating, he noticed that she almost never filled up her car.
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