A maxim which was not lost on first-time director Guy Ritchie, who chucks in that magical girl'n'gun combination to spice up the already-dizzying plot elements of Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels. ![]() You don't look like your average horti-fucking-culturist! That's what I mean, Willie.As Jean-Luc Godard said, all you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun. Winston: And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. Winston: We grow copious amounts of ganja, yeah? Oh, and, uhm, if you do have to buy sodding fertilizer, could you just be a little more subtle? This money's got to be out by Thursday, I'm buggered if I'm gonna count it. Winston: Mm-hm, we also need a money counter. Winston: You went out six hours ago to buy a money counter, and you come back with a semi-conscious Gloria and a bag of fertilizer? Alarm bells are ringing, Willie! So just do as I say and keep the fucking cage locked! … What is that? Winston: The problem is, Willie, that Charles and yourself are not the quickest of cats at the best of times. Charlie knows it's me, what's the problem? Winston: Yes, Charles, but you didn't know it was Willie until you opened the door, did you? So what's the point in having it if we're not going to fucking use it?Ĭharles: Well, I would've used it, but this is Willie, and Willie lives here. Winston: That's right, that's right – security. Winston: Charles, why have we got that cage? Now, come on, let me feel the fiber of your fabric. Tom: Not when the price is 200 pounds, it's not! And certainly not when you've got Liberia's deficit in your skyrocket. Nick the Greek: 100 pounds is still 100 pounds. Nick the Greek: All right, all right, keep your Alans on!Įddie: You could choke a dozen donkeys on that! And you're haggling over one hundred pound? What do you do when you're not buying stereos, Nick, finance revolutions? In fact, fuck it, Nick, I think I'll keep it! And you're complaining about 200? What school of finance did you study? It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the sale of the fucking century. That is a 900 nicker in any shop you're lucky enough to find one in. Tom: Seems? Well, this seems to be a waste of my time. Tom: You get a gold-plated Rolls Royce, as long as you pay for it. Nick the Greek: What else do I get with it? If you got no money on you now, you'll be crying tears as big as October cabbages.īacon: Shit. "Too late, too late" will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. It's no good coming back later when I've sold out. These are not stolen, they just haven't been paid for, and we can't get them again, they've changed the bloody locks. It's no good standing out there like one o'clock half-struck. You want one as well? Okay, darling, show me a bit of life, then. It's a lot more fun if you don't get caught. You want one as well, darling? You do? That's it, they're waking up! Treat the wife. Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you lot today, I'd make more money with me measuring tape. Don't think because these boxes are sealed up, they're empty. ![]() It's as long as my arm I wish it was as long as something else. Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney. Anyone like jewellery? Look at that one there. Cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell you. You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite Fanny by the gaslight. Because if you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping, you're up here shoplifting. Let's sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don't.
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